That’s why slowly opening myself up to my abilities over the past few months through the comfort of two, brand new tarot decks has been one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done. Countering my doubts, disbelief, and earthly darkness has also been extremely challenging; it’s a process in itself.
Then, five days ago, I entered what has been a slowly deepening phase of increased intuition, awareness, and spiritual advancement. I won’t pretend I haven’t tried to resist it; it’s a habit I’m trying to break, as much as it frightens me to do so. However, I’ve done my utmost over the past few days to let my newfound willingness persevere. And, with each day that passes, it’s getting easier. I’m slowly beginning to trust the goodness of this divine strangeness in a manner similar to how I trust Prabhu (God) himself.
Once upon a time, back when I was still a baby duck, my mother was a drag king. She was actually the most famous one in our pond. I was so proud to be her daughter…
Until the day she was challenged to a duel and fell under the sword of fellow drag king, Duxx Deluxxe.
Just like that, I was suddenly more ashamed than I had ever been of anything in my life.
Our noble family name was ruined. How could we ever look the other ducks in the eye?! Even the geese were mocking us, led by that awful, moronic Mother Goose…
My mother settled for being second-best after her defeat, but I wouldn’t accept that fate for us. Thus, I made the necessary arrangements, and proceeded to do what had to be done for both my family and myself.
If you follow me on either Twitter or Instagram, you may have noticed I’m a brand ambassador for a handful of companies. Of course, this includes Abella Eyewear.
For context, you should know that in the past year and a half of my life (December 2017-March 2019), I’ve received dozens of offers to become a brand ambassador. I was new to the game when these started coming in; for the first six months, I accepted as many positions with as many companies as I could.
It wasn’t long before I fell head first into the dark side of brand ambassadorship or, as some like to call it, Instagram modeling. Not every company I worked with was legitimate, and some were even running scams!
It’s pretty insane finding photos of yourself from just a year ago and thinking about how different everything is now. Everything really can change in a year.
For background, please hear me when I say that 2016 was a terrible year for me — I spent most of it in a difficult relationship, horrified by the weight I’d gained by using eating to deal with my depression, and pressuring myself into law school. However, in the final weeks of that dreadful year, I made the choice to take control of my life — I left that relationship, began my weight loss and fitness journey, and started to become who I’d always wanted to be.
Green tea is pretty hyped these days. Google “benefits of green tea”, “green tea and weight loss”, “green tea and beauty”, or literally anything else containing the words “green” and “tea” and you’ll find that there’s no shortage of search results.
Here’s the thing, though: the green tea part of the Internet can be a bit of an… over-hyped echo chamber.
Don’t get me wrong – green tea is absolutely GLORIOUS. Drinking it is highly beneficial, and it’s delicious! But that doesn’t mean drinking green tea for two days will make you drop 15 pounds in under 48 hours, and it certainly doesn’t mean that bathing your dog’s paws in it will make him stop barking all night.
And let me tell you — man, do I love fight training. It’s been glorious so far, and I’ve enjoyed each new skill I’ve learned, each opportunity to drill the same thing over and over again for the sake of gradual [but sure] improvement, the whole blood/sweat/tears “ordeal”, personal fitness developments, learning new things about the human psych, and feeling better and better about myself along the way.
Yes, I’m being serious — I really and truly do love all these things (even the blood/sweat/tears part).