My “20/20 Vision”

Mattias Ripp

I’m not really one for New Year’s Resolutions; I haven’t been since late 2016 when, after hitting rock-bottom yet again, I made the decision to take on discipline, turn my life around, and give into the power of the “now.” I stopped waiting around for opportunity, for life to happen to me, and I started tackling my aspirations the moment they materialized in my mind instead.

It’s been a pretty successful and productive approach thus far. I focused on myself, and I got results.

Regardless…

It never hurts to set a few goals ahead of time and hold yourself accountable, does it?

Ami J. Sanghvi

Thus, without further ado, here are my 2020 New Year’s Resolutions.

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Thus, I Despair

sad poetry

I despair in the face of thinking these thoughts, and feeling those feelings which invoke [or else mimic] the very same spirits which are known to make me despair…

At least by those few who care enough to know more of me than just my weary smile and burdensome comicality.

Therefore, I live in a limbo of halves and nothings: half musings, or none at all, half sentiments, or none at all, halves and nothings where there are these thoughts, and those feelings, with true agony to be experienced, known, felt, endured

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Forget the Labor Day Rule; Wear White this Fall and Winter

Have you ever heard that you simply can’t wear white after Labor Day? Furthermore, do you try to comply with this rule?

Well, did you know that you have the option of not observing it anymore?

That’s right – it’s not the worst thing in the world to wear white in the fall and winter.  In fact, it’s really stunning during the chilly months.

winter-white-pattern-coat-spring-fashion-clothing-jacket-outerwear-season-dress-footwear-formal-wear-1399878.jpg

Here’s why you should break the rule and wear white after summer ends anyways.

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Cynically Spectral: Opening Myself Up to Auras [And All Other Things Metaphysical]

metaphysical blog

Original post written on June 26, 2019.


That afternoon more than seven years ago was all I could think about last night as I finally took the plunge and decided to see if I could read my parents’ auras.

I was so nervous.

In fact, I’ve been anxious about my spiritual abilities from the moment I started to realize I just might have (which, it turns out, I do) them over a decade ago.  I did my utmost to push them away for years using weapons such as doubt, logic, anger, fear, and earthly devices.  All I really succeeded at doing, however, was slowing them down.

That’s why slowly opening myself up to my abilities over the past few months through the comfort of two, brand new tarot decks has been one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done.  Countering my doubts, disbelief, and earthly darkness has also been extremely challenging; it’s a process in itself.

Then, five days ago, I entered what has been a slowly deepening phase of increased intuition, awareness, and spiritual advancement.  I won’t pretend I haven’t tried to resist it; it’s a habit I’m trying to break, as much as it frightens me to do so.  However, I’ve done my utmost over the past few days to let my newfound willingness persevere.  And, with each day that passes, it’s getting easier.  I’m slowly beginning to trust the goodness of this divine strangeness in a manner similar to how I trust Prabhu (God) himself.

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The Shirt I Wore On the Morning I Started Seeing the Thestrals

indie author blog

I know it’s technically just a shirt; I completely understand that.

Yet, it’s also so much more than that.

At least, I think it is…

It was actually brand new the first [and perhaps last] time I wore it. The gorgeous thing arrived in the mail just days before I hopped the kind of midnight flight you usually only book at the last minute in the case of a family emergency.

The blouse wasn’t anything spectacular in itself back then, but I also knew the moment I saw and held it for the first time that it would fit me perfectly…

And, sure enough, that soft t-shirt blouse looked pretty great when I put it on for the first time just hours after reaching my destination. It was as if that top was made for me.

However, what I didn’t realize as I nonchalantly slipped into my new shirt that morning is that I was actually in the process of greeting a day I‘ll never forget for the rest of my life.

Here’s the thing:

Within [about] an hour of putting on that top for the first time (9:30 A.M. or so), I watched my grandmother die before my very eyes (10:27 A.M., to be exact), held her lifeless hands in my own for as long as I possibly could, did what I could not to cry over her corpse, and whispered all the things I never got a chance to tell her during the final years of her life in the hopes her spirit would hear me before departing that room. It was in that t-shirt [which I actually selected for that visit in the hopes she’d have liked it on another day many years ago when she could’ve still appreciated it] that I kissed her wrinkled forehead, stroked her stark white hair, gripped her withered hands as she’d always done mine, and touched her for the last time.

That was the blouse that I had on as my grandmother passed away upon her actual deathbed, just feet away from me. In that, it’ll be marked in my mind forevermore as a shirt unlike all the others I own.

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The Chronicles of Pluto, the Goddess of Death: The Princess of the Underworld (Part III)

hades satire

There’s nothing better than being a Daddy’s girl… Especially when your Daddy is your own, personal superhero, as well as Hades, the legendary King of the Underworld…


I wouldn’t say I was exactly estranged from my mother and half-siblings by the time the “Summer of Mango,” [as I eventually came to know it] had finally faded into a series of fond memories.  Regardless, I wouldn’t say I was an active member of our family’s flock back then either.

Nevertheless, there was one entity concerned with my biological roots who I was still very much in touch with around that time.  We’d always been on good terms; yet, shortly after my first bloody encounter with the Deluxxe family (in which I left the mother slain in order to redeem the honor of our own family’s matriarch [and my own, dignity, of course]), our rate of correspondence ascended to a new level altogether.

My father, Hades, was very impressed by my display of initiative, skill, and honor, as well as my inclination towards gore.  The King of the Underworld also went by Pluto; as my namesake, he’d done a pretty splendid job of becoming involved in my life from afar, especially with his intensive, demanding, and rigorous position as the sole Commander of Hell.

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On Thestrals and Death

harry potter
Original piece written on July 1st, 2019.

I can finally see the thestrals.

Even though I was an avid lover of the Harry Potter series throughout my early childhood and teenage years, I never gave thestrals, the characters they concerned, nor the implications of their attributes much serious thought…

That is, until today, when I watched my grandmother pass away before my very eyes.

thestral gifFor those of you who are unfamiliar with thestrals, they are fictional, mythical creatures from the Harry Potter book [and movie] series, first introduced in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.  J.K. Rowling wrote them such that a person can only see them once they’ve watched someone else die.

These creatures are portrayed as being “spooky” and “grotesque” in aesthetic, yet kind and gentle in nature.  More importantly, Rowling conceptualized “the thestral” with the intent of it existing as a living, breathing, beautiful, and mythological symbol of Death.

Despite the fact that I’ve had my issues with her in recent years (both with her behavior as an author and a human being), even I have to acknowledge that she accomplished something pretty spectacular here with her invention of the thestrals.

You see, I realize now that with a few clever flicks of her quill, J.K. Rowling fashioned a species whose magic and importance extends beyond the pages of her books, and deep into the real world of her readers.

In the same way her fictional characters could only see thestrals after witnessing Death firsthand, Rowling’s readers can only truly understand them after experiencing that same, painful phenomenon. 

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Baby Vamp Officially Goes Metaphysical

medium blog

My religion and spirituality are very dear to me.

They’ve helped forged my best and most redeeming qualities, and they’ve been there for me during the darkest periods of my life.  I strongly believe they will continue to provide me support and guidance as I trek upon the path which lays ahead in my current birth.

medium blogRegardless, I never spoke much about these topics; they were suppressed beneath several, matted layers of disbelief and fear

That is, until quite recently.

Don’t get me wrong: my reservations were never because I lack confidence in Prabhu/God, but rather, because I struggle to have faith in myself.

I’ve grappled for a long time with my supposed spiritual capabilities… More so, the question of whether I actually have them.

No matter how much proof God gave me that they exist, I always found ways to cloud, deny, and avoid the larger truth I didn’t want to face.

I only ever wanted God.  Nevertheless, I also received a set of mystical abilities which refuse to let me elude them.

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The Chronicles of Pluto, the Goddess of Death: The Summer of Mango (Part II)

haunted

And now, I shall bestow upon you all the tale of my first girlfriend: Mango.

After my now-legendary duel with Duxx Deluxxe, in which I achieved redemption for my family (specifically, my mother) and myself, I left home and waddled out into the world.  Before long, I found myself adorned in a jacket I’d handcrafted and stuffed with goose feathers, merely trekking through the magnificent, magical mountains of Asia as the most brilliant folk often do.

Therefore, it was in Himalayas that Mango and I experienced our initial encounter.

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